Becoming Whole: Bella's Moments
by LJ Summers
Summary: In THE HARDEST PART, we read about the imprint from Embry's point of view. BECOMING WHOLE shows moments of THP from Bella's point of view. It is not a retelling of the story, just moments from her perspective. 2d story in the series.
1. Moment 1: Embry Acts All Weird

_Author's Note: I have been often requested to share Bella's perspective on the events of _The Hardest Part,_ when Embry imprints on her. Rather than rewrite the entire story, I am going to provide a series of "moments" from her point of view. They will __**not**__ be a play-by-play of _THP_, but just peeks inside Bella's head at significant moments in the story._

_****__This is a work of derivative fiction. All things TWILIGHT are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer and/or her assignees. I write merely to entertain myself and others and receive no compensation._

* * *

**Moment 1: Embry Acts All Weird**

My stomach quaked and I felt a cold sweat break out all over me when Jake practically growled at me through my truck's window. He looked so angry! So furious! He was practically shaking with the force of all that negativity.

Still, even though he'd been sucked up by Sam Uley's Gang, I wasn't going to let him go so easily. I tried to steel myself, going so far as to glare at the others in this gang. This _cult_. This bunch of kids that Sam had managed to enthrall somehow into looking and acting just like him. I was livid.

Sam and the other guys just stood in the drizzling rain, none of them more than half-dressed. What was with these Quileute guys and clothes, anyway? A slight impression of heat reached me from Jake, but I ignored it. I was too angry with him and the others. I glared at them all, wishing I could just go pummel them for sucking Jake into their group!

Then one of them quit looking at me like I was an intruder. An annoyance. One of them – Which one? I used to know them all by sight! – dropped his arms out of that forbidding posture and looked as if he'd been hit with a big, fluffy pillow.

Stupid simile, but it was all I had. He looked as if something had surprised him. Not in a bad way, but in a really amazing way. I didn't get it. Who _was_ he? He looked familiar. He did...one of Jake's friends...

Then, he smiled and I knew who it was. Embry Call – Jake's less-forthcoming friend. We met that one day in Jake's garage. We didn't get the chance to do more than become vaguely acquainted, because he was one of the earlier guys Sam brainwashed. He crossed to my truck, this strange look on his face, in his eyes. I would have thought he was drunk, but he was really underage and I didn't think that Sam's cliff-diving tribal pride guys – Jacob had been scathing in his comments about them, before he became one of them himself – would be a heavy drinker.

"Bella, it's _you_," he said, his voice rich with a joy and wonder that made no sense to me.

I was prepared to roll my eyes at him and snap, "Of course it's me. What's the matter with you?" But I didn't get the chance.

Jake sounded as if Embry had done more than just stand next to him; Jake sounded as if Embry had socked him in the stomach. Hard. "Embry?" he said, his voice gargled and incredulous. I could see Embry heard him – his deep brown eyes flickered in Jake's direction, anyway – but he didn't stop staring at me. I wondered what was up with him, anyway.

"Jake? What is it?" Embry asked, obviously distracted. I was becoming unnerved. I didn't feel a threat from him, but the sudden outpouring of fascination was uncomfortable. I am not the sort of girl that inspires that kind of wowed expression. And besides, Embry was – used to be – Jake's best friend.

"_Em_bry!" Jake repeated, this time sounding as if he'd had his heart torn from his chest.

I knew how that felt – the sound echoed within me constantly, ripping a hole right through me.

"Jacob! To the forest! Now!" That had to be Sam, I guessed, though I didn't know his voice well. All the guys obeyed, not just Jake. They all took off into the forest, leaving me behind. With Embry. What was that all about?

I decided to ask him. "Embry? What the _hell_ is going on?"

His expression brightened. "You want to take a walk?"

"Fine. Yes. Only if you promise to tell me what's wrong with Jake." I tossed my notebook aside, opened the heavy door of my Chevy and slid out to the sliding mud below my feet. I tried to roll the window back up, too, but Embry beat me to it, insinuating himself between me and the door panel to roll the window up.

And he did it without it looking hard at all. Huge, overgrown boy. Just like the rest of them. He had offered to get me an umbrella, I declined. _No more stalling!_

We walked – he was obviously uneasy, which struck me as perfectly appropriate – until we got way out of Jacob's property. Then, I rounded on Embry. "All right. Tell me, Embry. This is just killing me."

And, between that spot, a huge tree and the back of my own truck, Embry told me he and Jake and the other guys were werewolves. Without any of the secrets or anything I'd been used to expecting from these super-fast, super-strong supernatural creatures, he just laid it out for me. I fainted at least once – What had Edward left me to? Laurent and Victoria! I didn't disbelieve what Embry told me. Not once.

Though the memories and accompanying pain were excruciating, I did my best to tell Embry – a protector of his people and of me, apparently – everything I knew about Victoria. And about Edward not being – not being my mate, anymore, in the way vampires reckon such relationships.

And when it hurt too much, when I almost blacked out from my memories, Embry was right there, holding me up. Holding me together. His skin was warm, feverish, as Jake's had been. His eyes were warm, too; their focus entirely upon me. As if I was the only person that mattered in the world.

In the back of my truck, when he held out his hand to me, to assist in a more-graceful-than-my-usual dismount, I was struck by something about Embry Call. Two things, actually. One, he didn't disregard me when I said I could drive myself home. Maybe it seemed stupid, but Edward and even Jake would have blown me off, considering I'd fainted and had freaked out a little about this whole Victoria and the Werewolves thing. The second was the look on his face. We'd only just met again, but the whole time he was talking with me – not calling me silly or avoiding my questions – he was looking at me as if I were something beautiful. I recognized that expression because I had had it on my face often enough when I looked at Edward Cullen.

I just never knew someone would look at me that way. Edward had adored me, maybe, for a while, before he – he left me. But there had always been a hint of...something. Condescension? Maybe? Some idea that he was older and wiser no matter how much he may have cared for me. I never did deserve him.

Embry, though, just helped me out of the bed of my truck. He got into the passenger seat without rolling his eyes at my dashboard. He didn't ask any awkward questions about my missing stereo. He only assured me that he wanted me to get home safely.

I was so tired of people worrying about me being safe! I really was. Embry was a stubborn guy, though, so I gave in and let him come with me.

He never made me regret it.


	2. Moment 2: Wait! He's Wagging His Tail!

**A/N: Thank you so much for your continuing support of my Embry and Bella stories! :) You all are so kind! More in the A/N, after today's Moment…**

**Moment 2: Wait! He's Wagging His Tail! **

That day in the meadow, when Laurent tried to make me his Bella-buffet, I had been terrified of the enormous, horse-sized wolves when they arrived. I thought for sure that they'd go after me as their prey – wolves are carnivores! – and leave the super-fast vampire alone.

I had been wrong. The wolves were protectors. One of them, I'm sure, had been Jake. Another one was Embry. Embry, who was being so forthcoming with me, willing to answer my questions and not arguing with me about my damn truck. So, I decided to see if I could push that willingness a bit further.

I took a breath. "I was wondering..." I said before we went into my house.

"What?"

"Would you, um, show me what you look like? When you, ah, change?"

He gaped at me. "What?"

I blushed and told him that I thought if I could see him, I wouldn't be afraid. He kept staring at me, a strange light in his eyes. I couldn't decipher it. Oh, I _used_ to hear that I was _perceptive_, but I didn't generally believe it. When he didn't answer me, I tried to snap him out of his reverie by lightly touching his arm. "Embry?"

He shook himself, looking embarrassed and flustered. Internally, I winced; I hated feeling that way and was sorry I had caused him to do so.

"Are you sure?" he asked me. I nodded and he did too, more slowly, as if thinking hard. I guessed he wasn't used to this, so I was relieved he was willing to change for me.

We went in the house and he was very, very strict about making sure I was safe when he transformed. He demanded that I stay in the kitchen while he changed.

He said he'd bark when he was ready for me.

I had to laugh. "Seriously? You'll _bark_?"

"Yep." Then, he pointed out the trees I should head to when he did bark. One of them had a low, crooked branch. I used to fall off of it when I was a kid. "You need to stay inside while I do this, Isabella. Promise me."

"I promise. And my name's Bella." Honestly. Hadn't Jake told him I don't like my full name?

Then Embry did something that surprised me. Surprised me enough so that I didn't even move away. He gently caught my chin with his fingers and smiled into my eyes. It was such a warm smile, such a _proud_ smile even, that I was silenced for the moment. "Not just now," he murmured. "Just now, I think you're Isabella. Strong and brave. _Isabella_ sounds like that."

I blinked and I remember my heart did this little stuttering thing that it hadn't done in a long time. I shook it off and inhaled forcefully.

He dropped my chin and headed out the door, reminding me to stay put.

I had to laugh as the screen door slammed shut. "Until you bark!" He jogged quickly across the open and muddy ground until he had gained the green shade of the trees. Made sense to me that he would want to be under cover. We didn't have a ton of neighbors, but a guy that was going to become a wolf couldn't be too careful.

I waited, gnawing on my lip. Tapping on the screen. Waiting. What if he changed his mind? What if something happened to him? Well, what could, right? He was supposed to be a werewolf! One strong and fast enough to catch a vampire!

The reminder of that made me feel very safe. As if, with a friend like Embry – or Jake, I guessed, too, even if he still wasn't talking to me – I didn't have to worry about Victoria, did I? I mean... Embry said I'd be protected. Good thing too, since Edward left me alone...

I left all thoughts of vampires when I heard a deep, full-chested bark sound from the trees. Eager to see what this werewolf looked like, I shoved the screen open so that it slammed into the house before closing. Then I had to watch my step, because if I slipped, I would have been so embarrassed.

When I reached the trees, I stopped, trying to adjust to the darker area. "Embry? Where are you?" I called tentatively.

He barked again and I could see him, suddenly, there in the shadow. He had hunkered down some, I could tell by the way his shoulders were angled up on his back. And his tail was wagging!

Wait! Embry Call had a tail! _And it was wagging! _

Before I could stop to think if he'd be embarrassed, I giggled and put my hand out to touch the gray fur on the wolf's face. Huge face, wedge-shaped, and I could see, as he made chuffing sounds, that he had huge teeth. _Little Red Riding Hood_ came immediately to mind, but I didn't even say so. I was kind of overwhelmed. Gray fur with black patches was what Embry had, and I knew then which wolf he had been, that day in the meadow.

"Embry Call... Wow. Okay. I remember seeing you that day. You're really fast," I murmured, still feeling the stiff fur between my fingers. His tail started wagging again and I chuckled. It was just so cute! I put my other hand on his face, too, and was about ready to ask him to rise up to his full height, so I'd know how big he really was, when he stiffened and dashed back into the deep green shadows.

Fear prickled over my skin. What was it? What had happened? "Embry?" I rasped, too afraid to move.

"Bella? Hang on. Sam needs me to come back. You okay?"

I relaxed all at once. "Yeah, completely okay. Yeah."

He made sure I wasn't afraid and then he walked me back to my kitchen door. I was pretty certain, but I asked if this needed to be kept a secret. Of course, Embry said it was.

Then, as Embry turned to go, I called his name and he turned. "Um, thanks for telling me all that. Is Jake okay?"

Dressed only in those denim shorts, completely barefoot, he seemed entirely comfortable in the light rainfall. "You're welcome and I don't know. I'll find out and let you know, all right?"

"Tell him... Tell him I'm sorry I was so mad at him. I didn't know." I would have, if he had just trusted me like Embry seemed to. Why hadn't he? I was about ready to ask Embry but he was nodding at the door.

"Get in the house, Isabella. See you soon."

"It's Bella!" I yelled as he started to jog away. Oh I yelled, but I also laughed. Somehow, I didn't mind at all when Embry called me Isabella. It was, after all, my name. And when he said it like he had, I didn't feel as weak and wet and cold and as, well, as _forgettable_ as I'd felt since Edward left me.

Embry thought I was strong and brave... The memory warmed me long after he had run off in the rain.

**A/N 2: Bella and Embry are actually up for an award! Over at The Mystic Awards, they are up for the Best No! Couple -- which is the Best Non-Canon Couple in Fan Fic! :) **

**The link to The Mystic Awards may be obtained by a few tinkerings with this:**

**http://themysticawards(dot)webs(dot)com/**

**While you're there, you *might* notice my name attached to two other nominations: One for The Hurt Award with my story Do You Remember? and another for The Golden Fingers Award for writing. **

**I'd appreciate your votes, but even if you don't vote, please click on over and be introduced to some amazing works of fan fiction. There are many, many exemplary stories and authors to be found, there!**

**Sorry about the long Note… Thanks for reading!**

**~LJ**


	3. Moment 3: Howling at the Moon

**A/N: Thanks for your continued support and comments! I so appreciate them! ~LJ**

**Moment 3: Howling at the Moon**

My sleep hadn't been that great. I was having a nightmare. In this one, I was lost in the woods again, looking for Edward. Of course. And then I was running, running, _running_ because I was being chased by Laurent and calling out to Edward to help me, please!, but he waved me off and I kept running.

Then the wolves came. I was actually relieved to see them in this dream. I might have been interested in seeing how that played out, but I was awakened.

"Bells! Bella Swan, wake up!"

Hot hands shook my shoulders. I smacked one of the well-muscled arms that was grabbing me. "Stop it!"

"Bella! It's me. Jake. C'mon, you gotta get up. Embry – Embry needs you." The last was said on half a sigh. "_Now_, Bella. Not at sunrise, but right the hell now."

Disconcerted and not even close to being half awake, I allowed him to drag me from my bed anyway. "Jake? How are you? I've missed you..."

The abrupt shaking of his head shut me up. "Not now, Bells. I gotta get you to him. He's going nuts." Once I was upright, he slid his hands under my bed and pulled out my slip-on sneakers. "Here. Put these on. Where's your coat?"

"Closet," I muttered, sliding my shoes on awkwardly before moving to my dresser for a hair band. "Where are we going?" My brain wasn't quite awake yet.

"To Embry's, Bella. Try to wake up, okay?"

"Embry. Okay. _He_, at least, was man enough to _answer_ my _questions_," I groused, pulling my coat on over my red tank and sweats.

Jake growled deep in his chest, but I sensed no violence from him when he took me by the shoulders. "Bella, I couldn't tell you. I wasn't allowed. We don't have time to talk about it right now, but maybe later, okay? I gotta get you to Embry. We're jumping."

I felt my eyes open wide, but went along with it. "Promise you won't let me fall..." I whispered as I hung on to his back, my legs and arms trembling with a combination of trepidation to be jumping and relief that Jake was talking to me.

He brushed my hand briefly with one of his. "Never, Bella. Not ever. Close your eyes."

I listened to him and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the change in the air around me as we left my bedroom and dropped to the ground. "Damn, Jake. You're...good."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Well. I've got better balance than some, anyway. You okay back there? Want me to carry you?"

I felt safer in his arms than on his back and I told him so. He shifted me to his arms and took off at an incredible pace. "So what's wrong with Embry?" I finally got the breath to ask. "What do you mean, _he needs me_?"

I studied Jake's dark expression as he ran through the woods, crossing the deserted highway, and back into the trees again. "He's having a...a nightmare, Bella. He, ah, didn't tell you why he could tell you all that stuff about us, right? When he showed you what he looked like as a wolf?"

"No... Was he supposed to?"

I felt Jake's sigh more than heard it as the wind rushed by my head. "He will. I can't. He will. You just need to get to him. He'll be able to explain it to you better."

Confusion and irritation started to surface, now that I was really awake and really believing that this wasn't part of my dream. I didn't struggle in Jacob's arms, though. I knew better than that. "You guys are going to be the death of me, you know that?"

His arms shuddered and I saw his jaw harden. "Don't even joke about it, Bells. Just...don't."

After studying his face under the uncertain light of the crescent moon, I decided to heed his words and didn't joke about that again.

Through a last strip of forest Jake carried me. I could hear the desperate-sounding howl of a wolf and I knew even before Jake identified the sound that it was Embry having his nightmare. I was one part terrified and three parts sympathetic. I had spent so many nights in my own vast empty darknesses, seeking something that wasn't there and would never be there. I knew what that heartbreakingly lonely sound meant. Embry's howl dove right through my chest and touched the edges of the hole that I always carried. The hole I fought against, sometimes. The hole that Jake had been patching before he'd taken himself away from me.

So, when Jacob set me carefully down at the edge of a clearing, I was not at all confused as to what Embry needed. He needed someone to tell him they understood. Why was he howling for _me_? I didn't know, but I knew I could help, because I completely sympathized with that sound...

Jake held on to me by the shoulder though, watching the lean gray wolf as the wolf stopped crying out. Howling. As soon as Embry the wolf saw me, he threw himself to the ground, nose on his front paws, watching me with eyes I knew saw me as Embry the boy. The same Embry who had been at my house and who had shown me this part of himself. I knew him.

He whined at me and my heart started to slow down. Yes, I knew this guy. I did.

"Go ahead, Bells," Jake murmured behind me. ""You can go to him. He's all right, now."

I held my hand out to Embry as I had the last time I'd seen him, walking slowly to meet him. Just so he knew for sure it was me, in case his nightmare still held him. "Embry? I'm sorry. I don't want you to be afraid. Was it like a nightmare? I get nightmares, too. I'm sorry." I touched his face and could feel the brief flare of tension that seemed to flash from every guy there, including Embry in front of me. Then it was gone. "All right? I'm sorry."

Then, suddenly, I saw his tail wagging and I smiled into the wolf's eyes. Embry's eyes. I knew he'd be all right.


	4. Moment 4: I'm a what?

**A/N: Thank you for the wonderful comments! I'm so glad you're enjoying this perspective and Bella's Moments! ~LJ**

**Moment 4: I'm a ... What?**

Never mind for a second that I had no wish to see Sam when Embry and Jacob told me I had to. He was there, Sam was, but I didn't want to talk to him – much less go to his house in the middle of the night.

But there was also the matter of Emily. Emily Young. Sam's fiancée. I knew her, and Charlie had told me about the accident she had had with a bear not too long ago. She had been attacked by a bear and her face had been scarred. Her face and maybe up to half of her body, too.

Remembering the day in the meadow, with Laurent and the werewolves – protectors though they claimed to be and that I was sure Embry was, anyway – I had the clear suspicion that Emily had not been anywhere _near_ a bear. That something had happened and she had been hurt by a wolf.

So, outside the house where she and Sam lived, I surrendered. I didn't call Charlie. I let Embry put his arm around my shoulders and walk me right up to Emily's front door, where warm light rolled out to greet me as if I were a member of the family.

"I won't make you talk to Sam," she assured me. And on that assurance, I left Embry's side to talk to Emily.

I had no idea what this was all about. I really didn't. Back in the clearing, Embry had risen slowly to his full wolf-height and pressed his muzzle into my shoulder, earlier. He was warm and calm and I could feel the hot breath come out his mouth in a regular pattern. He was fine. I held his muzzle in both my hands and told him I hoped he would have a good night and then he ran off into the cover of the trees.

And then, Jacob came to me. "Ya gotta go see Emily, Bells. She'll tell you what's going on, since Embry didn't."

"You mean...there's more?" I froze in unconscious imitation of the Cullens when they were in stress-mode. "More _besides_ vampires and werewolves? Jake?"

His smile was tight as he shook his head in the negative. He drew me close for half a moment, his embrace feeling intense but still careful. I didn't understand it. But I was more worried about the "what's going on" part he had mentioned than figuring him out. "Bells, I think you need to hear this from someone who knows what it feels like to be in your shoes. You need to talk to Emily. Sam's fiancée. I'll take you over to her house in a minute, okay? Embry'll be there, probably, and..." He bent down to look me in the eye on my level. "And you have to promise me you won't hate me. This wasn't my fault. Any of it."

"I promise," I said automatically.

Lips pressed tightly together, he straightened and said, "Let's go."

Once inside Emily's house, she did her best to make me comfortable. "Bella, let's brush out your hair and then if you have any questions about this whole thing, I want you to ask me, okay? I had to have this talk with Kim, too, and I guess you won't be the last, come to think of it."

Nerves tangled in my stomach and I briefly forgot about the hole in my chest. Emily didn't wait for me to agree, she just steered me gently to a sofa, picking up a hairbrush on the smooth wooden coffee table as she sat down herself. I could feel her hands move confidently through my hair while I tried to figure out how to ask.

I came up with nothing. So I finally just blurted out, "Emily? What the hell is going on?" Sounded a lot like what I had asked Embry a couple of days before, but really, what was a pitiful weak human supposed to think in the middle of all of this werewolf stuff?

The brush still for an instant before she continued. I had to admit, the motion was comforting. "Okay. You know the guys are werewolves, right? Sam said so, anyway."

"Yeah."

I felt the brushstroke before she sectioned off another part of my hair. Brushing again. "You've seen Embry in his wolf form, right? Sam said you had and you weren't afraid. That you wanted to see him like that?"

She sounded incredulous and I got defensive. "So? It's not like he was gonna hurt me, Emily. He said he was a protector. I believe him."

I felt Emily's face touch my shoulder briefly. "You were born to be a wolf girl, Bella Swan." She continued with the brush. "An imprint. Embry's a werewolf, Bella, and sometimes, the wolves find their mates like this."

"Wha –?" My throat went dry and I turned to face my hostess. "Mate?" I squeaked. I had had a mate; Edward Cullen had been my mate. I had heard that word used for me in conjunction with him. And he had left me. Left me all alone and crying in the forest. I didn't want to hear about a mate. "No, nuh-uh. No. There's gotta be some mistake, Emily."

She dropped the brush with a small slapping sound on the coffee table and took my hands in hers. "It's a great honor. He didn't ask for this, either, Bella. I know you are unfamiliar with all of this, that you've been with the – the Cold Ones and things were different with them. But for us... We're warm-blooded. We're alive. And we want to live and have children and watch them grow. And for the pack – the guys like Sam and his brothers, Embry and Jared and Paul and Jake, there is a real need to pass on the gene that makes a strong werewolf. A strong protector for our people. When one of the guys sees the girl who will be that, that genetic match, then he imprints."

I had sat, slack-jawed, taking all of this in. "I remember what he looked like when he saw me," I whispered, closing my eyes, remembering with a sick sort of feeling in my middle.

"He looked at you like you were amazing and beautiful, didn't he?" Emily said softly, still holding my hands as if she were worried I'd run away from her. I nodded. "Bella, that's how he sees you, now. Everything you are is precious to him. For lack of a better word, he – he loves you. Loves you in such a way that what you want will become more important to him than anything. He will want to make you happy. To keep you safe."

A sob worked its way out of me. "I've heard that before."

Compassion flowed from Emily and it was only then that I looked – really looked – at her face. The huge scar that had roughened and twisted the skin on the right side. The deep empathy in her eyes. The sense of sisterhood. "I didn't want to hear it, either. Bella. Long story, but I didn't want to even look at Sam at first. I'll tell you all about it someday. But for tonight, what you have to know is that Embry has imprinted on you. You're an imprint. It's a title. You're a wolf girl, now. One of us. And your life is of vital import to Embry Call. He will love you and seek to please you until his last breath. He will never leave you. His life is bound to yours. In every way. Now, that's going to get complicated. This is..." She stopped and I could see hot color deepen the golden brown in her cheeks.

"What?"

Blowing out a breath, she continued as Sam came in. He had rotten timing, but I ignored him as Emily softly spoke. "I told you this was about breeding strong wolves, right? This imprint is a mating imperative, Bella. It's something that Embry has felt since he first laid eyes on you."

"Mating?" I rasped. "Like...sex? And kids? And...?" She nodded, half a smile turning up at her mouth. I jerked my hands from hers and shook my head. "No. I don't even know this guy. I don't even want to think... No. Besides," I elaborated as I blushed brightly, "I've never done that before. I don't even know how."

Surprise flared in her eyes. "Oh," she said. "Well, there's no rush, Bella. You're young. He's just going to want to...be around you. That's all. You saw what happened tonight, right?"

"The howling?"

A nod. "That was because he was away from you for too long. So...somehow, if you don't want to make this kind of night a habit..."

The realization set heavily in my gut, my chest, making me feel tight and temporarily trapped. "I'm going to have to hang out with him. Like, every day, right?"

"It's not an absolute," Sam said quietly from his spot by the door. "But I know we'd all appreciate it."

I flickered a glance at him, seeing the low light near the door wash over his face, making it seem more human and less like some sort of imitation deity. "Okay. I – I can do that."

Emily took my hands in hers once again. "And if you ever, for any reason whatsoever, feel stressed or pressured about _any part_ of this – this relationship, you call me. Come see me. Any time. This is not something either of you asked for and it's awkward as hell at first. I completely sympathize."

Sam snorted in the corner and I went back to disliking him again. Then he pushed himself away from the wall. "Come on. Embry's worried about you and he needs to get you home before Chief Swan wakes up and thinks we kidnapped you."

"Damn! Charlie!" I yelped, jerking myself to my feet. "Right. Yeah. Uh, thanks, Emily. For the talk. I'll – I'll see you around."

Emily saw me out the door and Embry was waiting for me. I pressed my lips together and moved to join him. He was a werewolf. I was his imprint. His life was bound to mine.

This was so messed up. Briefly, I wished it had been Jake who would have imprinted on me. I know Jake. I cared about him. A lot. More than a lot.

Embry, though, was a different kind of guy. He didn't come at me with brash arrogance or a charming smile. Not right now. Instead, he studied me. In my head, I could hear all of Emily's words about this – this imprinting thing.

_He will love you...until his last breath._..

"Embry? I'm not sure what to say."

He didn't try to put words in my mouth or anything. He just shoved his hands in his pockets and said, "Okay."

I was kind of blown away, right there. Maybe it might seem stupid, but that one word, just then, really reassured me.

When he started walking, I felt no concern walking beside him.


	5. Moment 5: Tutor and Tutored

**A/N: Thank you to all those who are reviewing and adding this story to their lists! ~LJ **

**Moment 5: Tutor and Tutored **

The Monday after I learned I was an _imprint_ – still a foreign concept, but I had decided to operate within the parameters given to me – I was preoccupied all day. This was actually a welcome break from the dark and bewildering mindscape I had been inhabiting since Edward left...

"Bella?" Angela said, noting no doubt the change in my usual non-expression. "Are you okay?"

_What do I tell her?_ I tried to find a smile and stick it on my face. "Um, sort of?" What did I say? That there's this group of guys in La Push who turn into wolves and that they find their mates by some strange biological thing I thought was limited to ducks and geese? No. But – I had an idea. "I, um, got a new job, starting today."

Angela blinked. "A new one? Did you quit the Newtons? Mike never said anything."

"Oh! No, I'll still be there. I've just got another one."

"Babysitting?"

I choked on a laugh. _Sorta?_ I wondered to myself. Trying to preserve the sanity of one young man who apparently can't stay sane without seeing me? Is that too weird? "No. Tutoring, actually. A guy from La Push."

Angela fought obviously against a smile. "Hey, I've seen some of those guys. They're hot. Lucky you!"

_Hot_. Angela literally didn't know how right she was. Jake and Embry both felt like they had hospital-grade fevers. Embry had intimated that this was normal for him, so I didn't worry about it....much. I remembered everything Emily told me and tried to find a smile. "Yeah, lucky me."

Charlie was still at work when Embry and I got together at my house for the first time. I heard the purring motor of the bike as he came up the driveway. I did a quick check. The kitchen table was clear, yes. I had some snacks. Bathroom was clean, yes, and my bedroom door was closed. Okay.

I opened the door before he got there. I was nervous.

"Bella, hi!" he called, waving a little and sliding his backpack from his shoulders.

I smiled uneasily, weirded out to see him now in the full light of day after our weekend. "Hey, Embry. You doing okay?"

He looked over my head and I think he inhaled deeply before he nodded. "Yeah, Bella. It's been less than twenty-four hours since I saw you. I'm okay."

I bit my lip and studied his face. "What's the outer limit, anyway? I mean, is it twenty-four? More? Less? Is it an individual thing or what?"

"I don't know, Bella." Chagrin narrowed his eyes and he shrugged helplessly. "I'm really sorry..."

I stepped aside and waved him into the house. "I told you. Do not apologize. We'll work it out, Embry. We will." This would be a...distraction. Figuring this out would surely be enough of a distraction even for a pathetic human girl like me.

As he passed by me, his body brushed mine and I remembered again what Emily had said. Embry would want – need – to _touch_ me. I had absolutely no intention of even thinking of that "mating imperative." I just wanted Embry to remain grounded so that he wouldn't have to spend another night howling at the moon. To this end, I decided if I controlled the "touching" part, then I wouldn't be surprised. So, I extended my hand to him as soon as the door closed behind him.

He looked at it. Looked at me. Then, he met my hand with his own, enveloping me on every plane my hand possessed. It was just a handshake, I told myself. No reason for it to feel like anything more than that. It was just a handshake that this really tall, good-looking guy was giving me because if he didn't, he'd go crazy. It felt weird, though. He was so warm! I remembered that from the other night, sure, but this time I felt that heat with my mind as well as my skin. So different from the chilly marble I had been used to...

The hole in my chest shrank a bit at the contact. Part of me wondered, as Embry found his way to the kitchen table, if maybe that hole could be lessened with every handshake I got from Embry Call.

Then, he swung his books to the table top, tossed me a shy smile, and folded his tall, lean frame onto Charlie's chipped chair. "Thanks for helping me out, Bella," he said, his voice soft and deep.

"Not a problem," I told him. It was a lie, but only a small one.

That Saturday night, though, made it the truth.

Nightmares were a part of my life. I discussed this a little bit with Embry over the first week of our "tutoring" business. I didn't tell him the particulars of mine, mentioning only that howling at the moon would be a relief for me personally, at times. He just smiled sheepishly and said he hoped I'd sleep better that weekend.

"And you know, Bella," he murmured quickly as we heard Charlie's cruiser pull up in the driveway, "if you have a nightmare this weekend, you can come out to me. I'll be there for you, okay?"

That sounded so...weird. "What do you mean?"

The cruiser door slammed. "I mean that if you need someone to _anchor_ you after a nightmare, like I did, I'm here for you."

Then the front door opened and we hurriedly looked really busy with Embry's Biology textbook. "Hey, Dad. Let us just finish this part up and I'll start dinner, okay?"

I didn't forget what Embry said, though. Friday, I had a nightmare – like that was new – and I woke, my heart pounding, flinging off my blankets to run to the window for a breath of air. I saw a hint of movement along the edge of the trees, but I wasn't afraid. I knew, now, that one of Embry's brothers was on patrol. He had told me they took turns. There was a schedule and everything. It sounded very military. But the wolf running that night wasn't Embry, so I didn't call to him. I couldn't tell who it was, but it wasn't Jake, either. Jake was big and brownish-red. Embry was gray. The one in the tree line now was neither of these colors so I just gave half a wave and returned to my bed. I flipped on my light and tried to lose my mind in _Jane Eyre_.

On Saturday, I woke up freaking out because I was lost in an mired green landscape where there was and would never be anything... I sprang from my bed again, and this time I saw the gray fur with the black patches.

I don't know why I went down to Embry. Maybe I went because I knew that he was someone who had volunteered to help me through this. Charlie was great if your house had been broken into, but he didn't have a clue as to how to handle a broken heart. Or nightmares. Or tears. Embry, though... He would know. I knew that. During the week where we had spent time over my kitchen table or in the bed of my truck (I had to work at the Newton's sometimes, too) I had come to trust him to be able to understand me. Maybe it all went back to that night outside of Emily's house, when all he had said was, "Okay."

I pulled on my shoes and tried not to stumble on my way downstairs and to the porch. I was still feeling the terror my nightmare had left me with, with tears in my eyes and no voice left to speak.

Embry's shadow moved in the moonlight. "Bella, it's me." His voice was deeply soothing, in the midst of my mental turmoil. "Nightmare?"

Guilt washed over me, then. Who was I to deserve this? Who was I that a teenaged boy younger than I was would have to interrupt his important job (something else for me to feel horrible about) to comfort me because I had nightmares? "S-sorry, Embry," I sniffled, ready to go back inside now that I had seen him. He wore only a pair of track shorts, but he was there.

He held out his arms to me, but didn't crowd me. "Shh. You came for me. I'm here for you. I'm right here."

I walked into his arms and selfishly drew warmth and strength from him until I stopped crying. He didn't do anything else the whole time except hold me. It was as if this was absolutely what I needed that night. The comfort of being held when I was afraid and all but hopeless was what I had to have and that was what Embry provided for me.

I took advantage of that embrace the following night, too. And I remembered, during the week, what Emily had said: Embry would do anything he could for me. His life was bound with mine.

Each night, the hole inside of me healed a little more and smiling became more natural.


	6. Moment 6: You Might Have To

**A/N: I am so pleased that so many of you are enjoying watching Bella's healing process through these moments. Thanks for reading and for your encouraging words! ~LJ**

**Moment 6: You might have to... **

It happened on the morning of the first of May. The happening was so out of the ordinary for me that I made a note of it in my journal.

_May 1: I woke up with a smile on my face. _

Oh sure, I still had nightmares, but not nearly as many as there had been. And sometimes, on the weekends, I would slip out to see Embry just because I knew he needed to see me... And sometimes, because I needed to see him. Because sometimes, when it was dark and there were no other distractions, that hole in my chest started pulsing with the need for – something. Companionship, maybe. I didn't know.

It felt better when I was with Embry. Embry needed me even more than I needed him after a nightmare. I felt, finally, that I wasn't being selfish with him. It was an equal relationship. I grounded him and he grounded me and we were –

We were _friends_. Friends with a mating imperative hanging over our relationship. We generally ignored that... But, I kept seeing the words in my mind and I wondered if he did, too.

"Bella? It's Emily. Are you coming to the bonfire tonight?"

I was still flush with the pleasure of having awakened happily and I grinned into the kitchen phone. "I am! I'm really looking forward to it! What should I bring?"

She made some suggestions and then paused before asking, "How's everything with you and Embry?"

Something in the hesitant manner of her question made me stop and think before blurting out the perfunctory, "Fine." Instead, I gnawed for a second on my lip before saying, "I had a question."

"Thought you might," Emily allowed.

I swallowed, my skin suddenly fiery with nerves. "Um, see. I'm not sure. I mean, he's special, Emily." I took in a huge breath and the rest of it just came bursting from me without a filter. "And I know what you told me about – about how he feels about me and everything, but you'd never guess it by the way he acts, you know? And I wonder if maybe he does feel that way at all, or if he's just here because neither one of us want him to go crazy."

There was silence on the other end of the connection and I almost died from humiliation. _At least I'm in my own kitchen and no one will know but me. Poor Embry, though. He'll be howling..._

Then, Emily spoke, her voice alone wreathed in smiles. "Bella? You'll have to trust me on this one. Embry is in a tight spot, right now. Believe me, it's not for lack of, um, wanting more. He's just being very careful with you. I told you that making you happy is a priority with him, right?"

"Yeah..." _And having him hold me when I wasn't having a nightmare would make me happy. Yes, yes it would. I would feel warm and safe and, and cared for... Whoa. _ I blinked at the yellow kitchen cabinets. "And...?" I prompted when Emily stayed quiet.

"And...maybe he isn't sure that anything else would make you happy, just now, Bella. That's all. You might have to...show him."

"Are you serious?" I squeaked into the phone, turning myself so that I was talking to the cabinetry. Charlie wasn't here and I wouldn't be seeing Embry until much later, but even so, this was embarrassing. "Show him? How? My only other boyfriend was a vampire!" I hadn't ever thought to say that. At least not about anyone other than Jacob... But it...just slid out.

"_Other_ boyfriend? Is that what Embry is, now?" Emily was teasing me and I half-wanted to throw the phone out the window. But it was attached to the wall so that would have been stupid. The other half of me was blushing, thinking of how ridiculous this was. He didn't even try to hold me or anything so it was obvious that I was no more... interesting... to the werewolves of Washington than I was to the vampires.

How depressing.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't plan on calling to tease you. It's just that I _know_ – _believe_ me – that Embry does care about you. He does. He just won't, um, make any pushes forward without your say-so, okay? So, you might have to make that first move."

My mind was still lurking near that discussion when I met Embry at his house that evening. We were going to take my motorcycle up to the cliffs for the bonfire. He got on first and I climbed on behind him, slowly wrapping myself around him and laying my cheek against his warm back. I had my thighs around his hips, my hands locked at his waist and I felt remarkably safe, there on the back of the bike. And never, not once, did I hear any voices but his when he called back to tell me we were almost there. All I could see, hear, feel and smell... was Embry.

I wanted to just hold on to him a while longer when we reached the others at the bonfire, but that would have been awkward. Instead, we found a place to sit and I went to join Emily, Rachel and Kim off to one side of the fire while he went with the guys. I would soon learn that this was normal.

We girls had things to talk about.

"Jared said this was _Wolf Girls 101_," Kim said by way of welcoming me. "Like it was a class or something. I guess that's what the guys call it." Kim was a pretty girl. Her skin was flawless, her hair utterly straight and light-catching, her teeth perfect and her eyes liquid when she smiled at Jared, who had glanced our way.

"So, there're four of us and five guys?" I said, not knowing what else to say, exactly.

Emily nodded. "For now, yeah. I heard that Sam's brothers had a nickname for us getting together. That's funny."

"Do you think... Um. Do you think the other guys will, will imprint too?" I asked hesitantly. I also wondered if I would be the only "pale face" – as Jacob had once joked – in this rather small group of people.

Kim sighed a little. "We don't know, Bella. I was really surprised when I heard Embry had imprinted on you. No offense!" she said hastily, brushing my arm with her hand. "It was just a surprise that he would have done that with a –"

"A white girl. Yeah. I figured," I muttered.

Emily took one of each of our hands. "It doesn't matter. It's done. How're things with you and Jared, Kim?"

I was relieved that the focus shifted from me for even a few minutes, so I listened avidly. Maybe I wasn't the only one in this awkward situation...

But no. "...and then he told me that everyone knew! Emily! I didn't know how to look Sam in the eye after that."

"Everyone knew...?" I asked. "About...that?"

Kim darted a quick glance to our werewolves, who stood closer to the fire. "Yeah! He said he couldn't help his memories, you know? So now..." She rolled her eyes. "Emily? How do you manage it? I mean... Does Sam have better control of his mind or what?"

Emily seemed to be cloaked in compassion as she caught Kim's gaze and my own. "There are no secrets among them. They try to keep as much of our private time private but... They're _men_. What do males think about every sixty seconds?"

Kim groaned quietly, Rachel laughed and I bit my lip. "So....they know when we're _not_, too, right?"

"Yep."

I winced inwardly on Embry's behalf. And maybe a little bit on my own.

"On the other hand," Rachel whispered to me, close to my face, "they've got great stamina..."

"Rachel!" I gasped, mortified to be talking about sex with women I didn't know that well. "C'mon! Give me a break!"

Jake's sister flashed me a wide grin before patting me on the knee as if she were several years my senior. "It isn't always easy being a wolf girl, Bella, but the fringe benefits are great."

I was still blushing when the guys scattered and Sam came to collect Emily. Kim went to Jared, Rachel met Paul and I stood too, wondering if I was supposed to go to Embry, since I was his imprint, or what.

"Hey, Bells."

It was a voice I hadn't heard in weeks and weeks. I felt terrible about that, but Embry had kind of told me that this was an awkward situation and Jacob was really keeping himself busy and so on and so forth... "Jake! Hi! How are you?"

He tilted his head and started walking, so I walked with him, aware of Embry's long, lean form about a quarter of the way around the fire circle. We stopped, standing awkwardly, both of us knowing that Embry was waiting for us to visit.

"I didn't want to abandon you, Bells. You know that, right?" He barely met my eyes when he asked, choosing instead to make his gaze glance off my face before it hit the bonfire. "Things were kind of messed up for a while, and –"

I nodded. "Yeah. I know. It's okay, Jake. I understand. Embry –"

Jacob chuckled. "Embry told you everything. Yeah, I know."

"How'd you know?"

"No secrets from the soul mate, Bells. And as much as – as good as we were as friends, you're his soul mate. His other half. That's what the imprint thing is all about. And though the werewolf thing is a secret from just about everyone but the Elders and us, we're allowed to tell everything to our imprint."

I felt my eyes widen. "So you couldn't tell me because..."

"It was a secret, Bells. I'm sorry."

"Me, too."

Jake slid a glance to Embry, who was still leaning against the log I had picked out earlier in the evening. Embry seemed utterly relaxed, but I sensed a tension in the lines of his face. Something was bothering him.

Jake tossed his head. "So, how's school?"

We chatted for a little longer about his school and my non-college plans ("What? You're waiting for a year? Does Embry know?") and then, I just felt like it was time to stop. It was time to get back to Embry and reassure him.

Was he acting like a possessive boyfriend? No. I think if he were, I would have stayed with Jake for another half an hour, just to make a point. Thing was, Embry was just...sitting. Waiting. He wasn't happy, no, but he wasn't going to make a scene or act all macho or anything. It wasn't his way.

"I guess I should head out," Jake said eventually. "We're in shifts, tonight."

"Okay. Be safe out there all right?"

Then, his old grin was back and he chucked me on the arm as if I were one of the guys. "Like I'm worried?" He moved away from me and I stepped back to Embry.

He leapt to his feet in a move so graceful that I was taken aback. And made to feel – again – absolutely outclassed amongst the supernaturals. "Log or the ground?" he asked, his tone trying for casual.

The atmosphere around him, though, was heavy with tension. A tension I felt was my fault. "Your choice," I murmured, wanting somehow to ease his mind.

He grimaced, his full lips thinning and his nostrils flaring just a little. "Please. Pick one. I _need_ for you to _choose_."

I got it then, and hid my own smile. He _was_ jealous. Even knowing that he was the boy I'd been spending all my free time with for weeks, even knowing that according to the pack and the girls I was his imprint... He was still uncertain of me. "I _choose_ to sit with _you_," I whispered and closed the distance between us both literally and metaphorically as I took his hand in mine and kept his gaze with my own. I might have to make the first moves, Emily had warned me.

Well, I'd try! I _wanted_ to try. I wanted to try more than I ever thought I would, with anyone else ever again. "Okay?" I asked him as his hot hand twined with mine.

"Okay."

We kept our handclasp for the rest of the night, separating only when he had to go on patrol. I hugged him then, doing as much as I felt comfortable doing, trying to let him know it was okay if he...wanted to try, too.

At the end of the night, when we dismounted from the motorcycle at his house, I hugged him again. We stood there, holding one another, for I don't know how long. His heart beat against my face, the rhythm so...human. So comforting. So powerful inside his chest.

"See you tonight," he murmured after a while. He didn't pull away. He was just reminding me he was going to be at my house on patrol later. I blushed, wondering if there was anything else I could do, while he was there...

I leaned back and looked up into his smiling face. "I'll call you if I need you."

Slowly, reluctantly, he let me go and I climbed back into my truck. "G'night Isabella," he said as he closed the door for me.

I watched him in the rearview mirror as I drove away. He never moved.


	7. Moment 7: Charlie said okay? Really?

**A/N: Double-shot Friday? Well…kinda! :)**

**Yes, this is Moment 7. I was going to hold on 'til Monday with it, but I was reminded that today…is…the LAST DAY to vote at The Mystic Awards! As a reminder, Bella and Embry are up for the Best No! Couple, if you're so inclined to vote. :) You can tinker with this and click on over: http:// themysticawards. webs. com/ **

**While you're there, you *might* notice the name LJ Summers with the story Do You Remember in The Hurt award *and* the same name at The Golden Fingers award. IF you are so inclined, please go vote! :) **

**Thanks for reading all of this! ~LJ**

**And now, on to the Bonus Moment…**

**~*~*~**

**Moment 7: Charlie said okay? Really? **

"I got a surprise for you," Embry told me over the phone. He had persuaded his mother to get him a cell phone of his own, so now we each had one. He could call me and we kept track of the hours we were apart, that way.

I was on my break at the Newton's, in the back room. Mike had followed me, even though he was supposed to be out front with customers. I supposed we didn't have any just then. I ignored him as best I could. "What kind of a surprise, Embry? You know I'm not real fond of surprises."

He laughed softly into the phone and the sound was, to my ear, seductive. It did not erase the velvety depths of Edward's vocal memory, but Embry's was close. It was real. It did not make promises it had no intention of keeping. And it was mine. "I know, Bella. Don't you think I haven't figured that out yet? That's why I'm calling to tell you about it, so you won't be _surprised_ surprised."

"Ha! And you're calling so that if I freak out, you're miles away from me."

"That too."

We shared a laugh and I heard Mike huff something and return to the front of the store.

"So I'll come by after you get off work, all right?" Embry suggested. "And I'll bring it with me."

"This surprise isn't going to require me to get dressed up or anything, is it?" I asked, my tone leaking acid.

He hastened to assure me. "Not in the least. Jeans and a leather jacket. You can even wear your Converse." He laughed again. "D'you have a leather jacket? I can bring you one of mine, if you want."

"I've got one, thanks."

"See you after your shift. Twenty."

The number was a reference to how many hours it had been since the last time we had seen each other. Thirty was his current limit. A limit we had tested and found to be pretty solid, for now. By the time I would see him, it would be twenty-two.

I cooked a quick dinner while I waited for Embry to arrive. Charlie was due home soon, too, and I figured I would be feeding all of us before finding out what wasn't a surprise. Jeans and a leather jacket. We got to talking about the leather jacket and Embry didn't get around to telling me what he had for me. Something outdoorsy, maybe? I finished prepping the lettuce and cheese and got the tomatoes diced while the tortillas fried for tacos. My classmates in Phoenix called them _Tacos Gringos_ when I brought them for the rare class party, but "White Guy Tacos" were pretty good for me and Charlie. Embry had an appetite no matter what I was cooking, so I didn't think any of the food would be hanging around as leftovers.

I heard the police cruiser arrive at the same time as the motorcycle. Dad never knew the bike was mine; he thought it was Embry's and we'd never enlightened him. A smile tugged at my lips as I smoothed my long-sleeved green knit shirt, making sure the sleeves were down. I hurried to wait by the front door, ready to open it when Embry and my dad reached the porch.

But they weren't coming!

Instead, I saw my dad and my – my werewolf? boyfriend? guy? – talking on the driveway. And – I saw my surprise. A motorcycle helmet! Red, like my bike, Embry was holding it up to show Charlie.

I expected Charlie to turn purple and stomp away, so I held myself tensely by the door. Was he going to bar Embry from the house? He couldn't! That would be a nightmare for real. For Embry and for me. My mouth went dry and my heart thudded loudly in my chest. So loudly that I swear Embry heard it. He shot a quick, concerned glance to the window where I was hiding, anyway. Drat those supernatural beings and their supernatural hearing!

Charlie took the helmet from Embry's loose grip. He didn't throw it across the yard, though. Instead, he seemed to balance it in his hands and inspect it. I saw him nod – my dad, the chief of police, nodded at a motorcycle helmet – before handing it back to Embry. There was some more conversation. A few more nods. Embry flashed my dad a broad, white grin before the pair of them shook hands and turned to – finally! – come in the house.

About time, too. My tacos were getting cold.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie said tossing a significant look up at Embry. Then, he inhaled and sighed with satisfaction. "Ah, tacos. Good. Hungry, Embry?"

Embry blinked. "Yes, sir. I am."

"Dad, we'll be in in a sec, okay?" I eyed the helmet with a lifted brow. "Give us a minute?"

"Yep. I'm gonna go wash up."

His footsteps clumped heavily up the stairs. Embry winced a little and held up the fire engine red helmet. "Surprise?"

I had to chuckle a little. "Um, kinda? Actually the real surprise, Em, is that my dad didn't take the helmet and find a new home for it, you know?"

He laughed out loud. A big, deep laugh that lightened my heart. It really did. "It gets better," he said after he had caught his breath and put an arm around me – really casually, so I almost didn't notice.

Almost.

"You got me a motorcycle helmet and it gets better?" I was wondering if it was as I hoped it might be. If we could go riding together like we had to the bonfire. If Charlie was really not going to commit murder if Embry took me on the bike.

He set it on the kitchen counter. I picked it up, my dinner preparations cooling without my oversight. "It's a beautiful color, Em," I murmured. He had found me a _helmet_. He had braved _Charlie_, too.

"He said we could ride, so long as I'm driving, and you're wearing this," Embry said softly. "I remembered – I remembered that you liked to ride before, and you seemed to like it on the way to the bonfire..."

"I did!" I assured him with a blushing look into his dark, liquid eyes.

He gave me a delighted grin. A grin that sharpened his cheekbones, brightened his gaze and parted his lips in pleasure. It was an expression I knew right then I wanted to see again. "So you like your surprise?"

I chuckled and nudged him with my shoulder. "Yeah, you win. You got me a surprise I'm _happy_ about, okay?"

He drew his fingers through my hair in a slow pass of his hand. "Good. That's all I wanted."

Charlie reappeared and we all began a small assembly line to put our tacos together. Dad lay down the law to me about the bike and the helmet. Embry assured him of my safety and of his, Embry's, insistence in my wearing a leather jacket when we go riding.

With a reluctant smile that did in fact reach his eyes, Charlie shooed us out of the house after every single taco shell had been eaten. "Go on. Get out of here. I'll clean up. It's still light outside, but I want you home before it gets too dark," he said with a mostly-feigned scowl at Embry.

"Yes, sir. We won't go far," my werewolf said. He _was_ mine, after all. Emily had said as much.

It was a strange thing, the imprint, but I trusted it. I trusted it more every week, this feeling of permanence that Embry brought to me. It was there in the flashes of awe that I sometimes caught in his eyes. It was there in that worrisome thirty-hour sanity limit that we both preserved with care. Oddly enough, I felt it in his quiet. He just _understood_ things. Like when to tease me and when to just say, "Okay."

And here at the end of May, when the sky melted in shades of orange and purple at twilight – a time that would always remind me of Edward, I was sure, until the end of my life – I made new memories with another supernatural man. Twilight became the time of leather and speed, and the scents of pine and soap and wind. It was our time, Embry's and mine.

"You all right back there?" he called over his shoulder at the traffic light. One warm hand rubbed my cold ones as they gripped him around the waist.

I told him I was, tightening my grip on him through my arms and legs. I could feel his chuckle through his back. "Here we go," he said in warning as the light changed.

He took off a bit fast, making me squeal. As we moved forward, I saw some surprised looks from folks on the sidewalk. Lauren, Jessica, Mike and Tyler were out for the evening, apparently. They stared at Embry and me as we roared away.

**~*~*~**

**On Monday… Moment 8: First Kiss**


	8. Moment 8: First Kiss

**A/N: Thank you so much for the great comments and for your votes at The Mystic Awards! Results are about a week out, so they can get their banners all done, but it was an honor for me to be nominated in three different categories, so I am thrilled no matter what!**

**Today, Bella's Moment 8 …**

**~*~*~**

**Moment 8: First Kiss**

_Dad - Out with Embry. Going cliff diving. Yes, he's really good at it and yes, I'm sure I'll be safe. Be back tonight. I love you! - Bella_

I scribbled it on a piece of paper after writing down instructions on how to heat his dinner. Embry watched, amused, and waited for me to finish up with this so we could get out of the house. It was a day to celebrate! Last final for my entire high school career had happened today. We would turn in our books next week and then rehearse for graduation and that was it. I felt like Rocky the Rhode Island Red rooster in the old movie,_ Chicken Run_, when he cried out, "Freedom!" as he was shot by a canon through the sky.

I wouldn't be getting shot from a canon; I was going cliff diving! Finally!

Embry, wearing a pair of board shorts that looked completely hot on him, read the note over my shoulder. "D'you think he'll manage not to shoot me when we come back?"

I grinned. "I'll convince him to ground me instead," I promised, thinking that Charlie might not be totally adverse to me cliff diving after all, since I was going with Embry.

I smiled into Embry's eyes, thinking that I was really, really lucky. Somehow, I was supposed to be compatible with this incredibly gorgeous guy. He looked at me again with that amazed light in his eyes – bedroom eyes – and cupped my face in his heated palms. _Here it comes_, I told myself. _Finally. He's going to kiss me. Finally! _ I could feel it in intensity of his gaze through the emotion I could see there... Tender, but so passionate... _Here it comes_, I told myself again as his thumbs moved to caress the corners of my lips.

I lowered my eyes then, a little overwhelmed as my heart raced within me. His hands fell from my face in the next heartbeat and the moment was over.

I could have been crushed. Edward had turned aside my willingness to be physically close to him I don't know how many times, and it had affected my – my sense of myself, I guess. Yes, I could have been crushed but...I wasn't. It was that imprint thing again. I knew that the mating imperative was there. I _knew_ it. I could feel it sometimes when we rode the bike, or when he helped me with dinner or while we watched a DVD. We would get together with the other guys and their girls and it just felt – right. Having his arm around me, keeping me next to his side at a get-together at Sam and Emily's – that was how it should be, I felt.

It was what he wanted. I knew that. I accepted it.

I would just have to take another step forward to let him know _I wanted it, too_. And, in my new bathing suit I wore under my shorts and t-shirt, I hoped I would at least clue him in this afternoon!

"Got a change of clothes?" he asked after a moment. "You are, I promise, going to get very, very wet."

I pointed to my canvas bag on the table. "Yep. And towels. Let me guess, Big Mr. Werewolf doesn't think he needs a towel?"

He laughed a little. "_Big Mr. Werewolf _will air dry faster than you could comb out your hair."

I arched one brow. "Nice to be some people. And yes, I actually brought a swimsuit. Though I didn't exactly see any dressing rooms out there..."

"We'll work something out," he assured me, reaching over to pick up my bag. His skin brushed mine as he did so and I swallowed, hard, when he seemed to pause and take a quick breath. _Now? Was it now? _

The moment passed – again! – and I sighed internally. "Then let's go before it gets too late!"

On the drive to the cliffs in La Push, I realized that there were no changing rooms. I could take my clothes off to go diving, sure, but what would I do about changing back when we were done?

I decided not to worry about it just yet. Maybe I'd just have to "air dry," too.

Once we arrived at the cliffs, I saw there were quite a few familiar vehicles. "Damn," Embry muttered as I pulled up.

He opened my door and I climbed out from behind the steering wheel with my bag on my shoulder. "What?"

"Remember that _no secrets in the pack_, thing?"

"Yes..." I said, drawing near to his side. There was a breeze, he was warm, and I just enjoyed being as close to him as possible. I was warm with him.

He closed my door and wrapped his arm around me, his focus on the others we would be joining. "Well, I guess I kinda was planning our trip out here, last time I phased, and it looks like everyone is out here to join us." He sighed."Sorry, Bella."

I was kind of disappointed, sure, because I had been thinking we were going to be alone. Then I remembered what he said about the No Secrets clause in the werewolf life and sighed quietly to myself. No secrets. That meant that even if we had been alone...every single one of the guys would have found out about it within a couple of days.

I was just looking around for a place to put my stuff when Jake's sister, Rachel, jogged up to us. She was wearing a sports bra and running shorts. I felt as if I were improperly dressed for diving, now. I didn't see any of the other girls in a regular swimsuit. I cursed my vanity but tried not to let my misgivings show on my face.

My former summer playmate grinned at me. "Bella! Hey! We've got a little tent rigged over here, to get on some diving clothes."

I grinned in relief and smiled up at Embry before following Rachel to the tent. It was anchored near some of the rocks here at the cliff tops. "I'm so glad someone figured this out," I told her. "But I feel totally overdressed."

"Hey, Kim! Bells is here!"

Kim giggled. "I'm decent, come on in." I did, ducking through the low nylon opening. "Hey! Didn't know you were into this until Jared said Embry was going to bring you. Have you ever done this before?"

Trying not to be uncomfortable, I slid my shorts down my legs and folded them up. "Nope. But Embry said he'd teach me. He's going to dive with me."

"Ooooh... Sexy...." The girls giggled as I unbuttoned my top and set it on top of my shorts. Then, they eyed me and grinned hugely. "Wow. He is totally going to go over the edge when he sees you in that, Bells."

I blushed. "Shh! You know they can hear at a distance." I had been immune from Edward's mind-reading, but I couldn't keep Embry from hearing me.

The other wolf girls giggled some more. "No secrets!" they teased.

I bent for my towel and kicked off my shoes. "I know, I know. So are you diving or are you going to laugh at the white girl all day?" I slipped out of the tent while they were still laughing at me and tossed my towel over my shoulder. The guys were near the cliff and I smiled a little at them as I managed not to stumble on my way to Embry's side.

They sort of gaped at me, and I blushed again. I really wasn't dressed for this. Jake was there, too. I only saw him at the usual pack gatherings. It was always a little awkward, though we both tried hard, for Embry's sake.

I was hesitant to meet Embry's eyes. Wondering what I'd see. Would he get it? Would I have to push forward a little more? I smiled a little to myself when he spoke.

"Leave the towel up here. It'll just blow away if we leave it on the lower ridge," he advised, pointing over the edge to show me where we would be jumping from.

We were very high up, here, and I tried not to feel uneasy about it. _Isabella_, he called me. _Strong and brave. Me. Okay. I can do this_. Still, I scowled – mostly for show. "That's the kiddie dive, right?"

"Yep, and you're the kid, today, Bells!" Jake put in, trying to laugh about it.

I muttered something about them all being so tall and tossed Jake my towel as Embry took my hand to lead me down the trail to the lower rocky shelf. My heart was pounding and it wasn't just because I was going to jump off a tiny ledge into the ocean. He said he would hold me the whole way. He had said so more than once over the course of the day. I could just imagine how it might feel to have so much of his skin on my own...

The surf pounded below us and the wind my hair around my face as he bent to my ear. "Like it, Bella? Is this what you wanted?"

I looked one more time to see how far we'd be jumping. "You said it's safe."

"Yep." He wrapped both arms around me and I pressed myself against the hot skin at my back. Embry was so...strong. So supportive. He did so much for me. Then, he was a goof. "I _am_ going to hold you for the whole jump," I reminded her. "So don't go trying to fly away, all right, Miss _Swan_?"

I had to remember he was still seventeen. "Oh, like I've never heard that one before."

"Oh yeah? Who?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so I've _never_ heard that one before. Can we jump, already?"

He held me just a little more tightly and I caught my breath. "Now remember," he said, "I'm hanging on to you. Even in the water. Don't be afraid."

I nodded and braced myself in the circle of his arms. I felt his whole body tense up behind me and then we jumped!

There was only him. All around me I felt the wind rushing and Embry's arms. It was amazing! I screamed like people do on roller coasters. It was such a rush! I wasn't frightened in the least, because my werewolf was holding on to me and I had no doubt at all that he wouldn't have let me jump with him if I wasn't going to be safe.

We hit the water with a sharp flat feeling and then we were under the water and it was cold! Really cold. But also beautiful with the bubbles of our passing and the light diffusing through the layers of water. I turned to see Embry looking at me. It was like a movie. Then he unwrapped one of his arms from around me and I immediately felt a cold band of water take its place as he pulled us up to the surface, aiming for the light of the sun.

"Wow!" I had to shout as we took our first breaths. "That was amazing!" I threw my arms around his shoulders and felt his legs kicking to keep us afloat. Of course, I did the only sensible thing and locked my legs around his waist to keep them out of his way.

My heart was pounding almost violently as my face sought the warmth to be found at his throat. _Warm. He's so warm. So warm..._ "Thanks," I murmured into his skin.

I felt his heart accelerate, too. _It's now or never,_ I told myself. _C'mon, you can do this..._

Before I could change my mind, I shifted my head over, focused on his lips, and kissed him.

_Hot. Hot skin._ I had been so used to cold lips, once. But now, all I craved was warmth. Heat. Embry's body temperature was absolutely perfect. Our lips melded into each other's and it was just perfect –

Until we both tasted sea water because he apparently forgot to keep kicking and we sank under the waves!

I had to laugh, even under the water. Just a tiny chuckle. His eyes were smiling as he met mine before we broke the surface again.

I was blushing as he tugged me in to shore, as if he wasn't going to let me go even for such a short swim. I could hear faint sounds of applause and laughing and then another scream.

But I didn't go to look at them. I was standing with Embry and staring into his eyes and I knew that right then, that was exactly where I wanted to be.


	9. Moment 9: To the Victor

**A/N: I just wanted to say that I've been pleasantly surprised by the number of women who have gone Team Embry -- at least for the duration of this series -- because they've "met" him during his imprinting moments. :) That makes me smile. **

**Thank you to all of you who have been favoring any of the stories in this series: **_The Hardest Part, The Imperative _**and this one: **_Becoming Whole_**. It's wonderful to hear from you and to get a chance to interact on some level with y'all.**

**Below, as I told many of you, Victoria enters the picture on the day of the First Kiss…**

**Thanks for reading! ~LJ**

**Moment 9: To the Victor...**

"Ah, here you are at last Bella Swan. It's been so long since we've played a game together."

The sickly-sweet, little-girl's voice that issued from the dreadfully familiar face made my heart jump with sheer, terrified adrenaline. "Victoria!" I called, straightening my shoulders.

I was standing in front of the changing tent where the other girls were hiding at the direction of their guys. My guy had told me to hide, too, but – I couldn't! I knew why the vampires were here. I knew for whom they had come. I would not and could not allow anyone else to be hurt on my account. Not without my help. If I _could_ help.

I didn't expect Embry to be happy about my showing my face. He wasn't. His growl was low and rippling, but it seemed to shimmer in the air all around me like a protective grill.

The bane of my existence stood not far from Embry. His fur was stiff, standing up in anger all over his body. The hair on the back of my neck did likewise. Why wouldn't the vampire answer me? "Victoria, why are you here? Why can't you let these people go?" I would be glad enough to stay, if they could get away from here without incident. I was about to say so, too, even though I guessed it would make Embry crazy, but she interrupted my thoughts.

"People? Have you...noticed...this one in front of you? And they can go," she went on with a negligent wave of her hand as Embry growled deep in his chest. "I only want you."

I needed to buy us time, I thought. I needed to keep her talking. Somewhere, the rest of the pack, Embry's wolf-brothers, were nearby. They would help destroy Victoria if I could only keep us alive 'til they got here. "You don't want _me_, Victoria. You don't." She only _thought_ she did...

"James!" the vampire shrieked. "Your Edward killed my mate!"

The day she spoke of flashed in my mind. The day in the ballet studio. The day when Edward Cullen could have made me a vampire – but he valued my humanity too much to do so. I didn't remember what happened too clearly, but I remembered the pain James gave me. I remembered the fire. I remembered...

Embry shifted next to me and I had an answer for Victoria, which I gave to her with a shout. "He's not _my_ Edward! He left me, Victoria. My death will not hurt him. Not like you want. It won't be a good revenge. He's not my mate!" Embry was my mate, now. Embry!

The flash of that realization hit me square in my gut and heart, knocking my breath out for a second. But there was no time to think about it. Neither could I tell Victoria who my mate truly was. No. That would put Embry in even more danger. Making him a target, not a guard.

"Edward has been tracking – tracking me!" Victoria said as if she were boasting, a cackle erupting from her stone throat. "I've led him on a wild chase! He'll be too late, though, won't he?"

Edward had been tracking her? Hunting Victoria? Why? Was she one of his distractions? My heart, in a fierce whisper, said he did it for my protection. But he had failed. The wolves – _my_ wolf, my _Embry_ – were protecting me from her. And I would not let them fail if I could help!

The girls still in the tent were freaking out by now, but they were staying inside the shelter, which was good. I tried to move away, but then Victoria leapt with obscene, predatory grace to land closer to Embry and me.

"No! Stay away from him!" I yelled at her as it seemed she might attack Embry to get to me. That was unacceptable! "He has nothing to do with it!"

Embry's huge gray head swiveled for the briefest moment, and I could see his eyes, my Embry's eyes, in the face of that wolf and I felt suddenly strong and brave – everything he told me I was to him. I knew exactly what I had to do.

He couldn't fight her if I was in danger of being hurt. He wouldn't and couldn't. So I had to get the hell out of the way so he could rip her apart. I believed he could. And I heard the heavy thudding of other padded feet and saw the sand and dust being kicked up as more wolves came to help Embry.

They would destroy Victoria. But I had to get out of the way and let them. I couldn't go to the tent – the girls were there and I'd endanger them. Running the other way was stupid – vampires were insanely fast.

That left the cliff. I could jump off of it and fall to the water. I could do that much.

Without thinking any more about it, I shouted, "Get her, Embry!" and took the few steps necessary to the cliff's edge and leapt into the sky!

The noise surprised me. The sound from the water rushed me with the wind around my head and the howls I could hear above me. And then, before I was ready, my feet hit the frothy surface of the ocean and I plunged deep. More deeply than Embry had taken me. It was really cold and dark and it took me a moment to orient myself so that I knew where the sun still shone through the water.

I fought my way back to the surface, not knowing how far I would be carried away from anywhere I could get a breath in safety, but knowing that at least I wasn't up there, getting in everyone's way.

I pulled air into my lungs when I could, and kicked hard to keep my head above water and find out where I was or, failing that, where I could rest. I didn't know I'd be so exhausted. My feet hurt. Burned. Maybe I scratched them on something. I flailed out an arm in an effort to just move through the cold sea water. I had to swim and keep swimming, on the lookout for a place I could be safe.

Embry would come for me. I was sure of it. Victoria would not win. _Could not win_. No.

I heard a howl far above me and I knew it, intimately. It was Embry! He was alive! Well, of course I hadn't truly entertained the notion of him dying, had I? No. Not really. I tried to swim to shore, but after hearing him, I was suddenly extremely tired. As if my adrenaline had lasted as long as I wasn't sure of the outcome of the fight, but now that I was, I was wasted.

I made it to a rock about the size of a reclining chair. "Embry!" I called once I had pulled half of myself out of the water. "Embry!" Out of the water and being hit by spray and wind, I discovered I had cut myself in a couple of places on my arms and a foot as I sought a more comfortable perch on this porous stone. Had to be the result of a long-ago volcanic blast, I thought.

Then, my wolf appeared on the beach, his gray fur ruffled but I couldn't see any damage. I inhaled deeply in my relief and tried again to fix my hold on the rock. "Embry," I whispered.

To my surprise, he phased right there on the beach. In front of me. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. As much time as we had spent together over the past months, I had never, ever seen him phase and his nakedness – though brief – was something of a revelation.

"What the hell was that stunt?" he demanded, swimming out to me.

I scowled at him. "That stunt was me getting out of the way so you could kill her without worrying about me." He joined me on my piece of ancient lava, balanced on his forearms. I cocked a brow at him. "I guess it worked?"

His irritation with me melted away as he helped me oh-so-carefully to get off the rock and slide into his arms. I didn't have to swim another stroke; Embry towed me the rest of the way so I could just rest. I let my head roll on his shoulder as he chuckled again. "Yeah, it worked. You're brilliant, okay?"

I blushed. He might have been teasing, but his voice was warm and joyful and I laughed a little breathlessly. My heart started pounding all of a sudden and I got doubly nervous when he swiftly changed positions to hold me in his arms as he walked the rest of the way out of the water.

His eyes were warm, but alert when they met mine. "Anything broken?"

"Not today... Abraded maybe."

"Bella!"

He put me down and looked as if he were going to give me a complete examination. But that was not the attention I wanted from him, right then. Remembering Emily's always-excellent advice, I lowered my eyes and wrapped my arms around my werewolf's warm torso, pressing the palms of my hands on his back. Then, I swallowed and my mouth opened and I started rambling.

"Thank you, Embry. I mean, it probably won't hit until later, and you might find me a crying disaster or something while you're on – Oh, wait..." I frowned. This was stupid. I mean, he wasn't going to have to be on patrol anymore, was he? So when would we spend time together? I – I was going to miss him...

With the edge of a finger, he caught my chin. "What, sweetheart?" he murmured.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest. I tried to tell him it was okay that he wouldn't have to come by on patrol anymore and I was sure I'd be fine. He reminded me I had nothing to worry about anymore...

He was right. But I was going to miss him anyway. After a very heavy, very quiet moment, I felt him pull me closer against himself, as if he would bring me under his own skin. It was amazing. I felt so safe, so warm,_ so much a part_ of him right then. I told him it was good that he'd get some sleep, he'd worked so hard that day, but, he understood me better than I thought he did.

"I'll come, Isabella," he murmured into my hair. "I'll come tonight."

Then, it happened. He nudged my head up and with a devastating slowness, he lowered his lips to mine. _Yes! Mine! Yes!_ I was thinking, the words echoing in my heart and my mind as I parted my lips. And oh... It was such a kiss. Long, slow and sweet, with a promise in every movement of his mouth on mine.

I loved Embry Call. In my kiss, I promised him I always would.

**~*~**

**Tomorrow, the tenth and final moment: Embry, I might have another nightmare...**


	10. Moment 10: I might have a nightmare

**A/N: This is the last moment from Bella, encompassing the end of **_The Hardest Part _**and an hour or so past it. Thank you very much for all your kind words, the adds to your favorites lists, and the encouragement. I do have up my sleeve a story for Jacob -- because let's face it, the guy even in this AU could use a happy ending -- but it isn't written yet. One thing I promise though: He will not be imprinting on Bella's daughter!**

**Thank you again for your support in this non-canon pairing and thanks for reading!**

**~LJ**

**~*~**

**Moment 10: Embry, I might have another nightmare... **

"Will you... Will you call me? And can I talk to everyone? Sometime? I have missed you all." My arms were wrapped lightly around Edward, there in the damp and misting yard as the rain sifted down to us. His appearance after Mike Newton's graduation party had been the very last thing I expected, but I felt much lighter and more free having cleared things between us and re-opened communications.

He closed his eyes. "Yes, Bella. We've all missed you, too."

"Good."

Jasper's voice wafted softly through the heavy air. "Good night, Bella. I hope to hear from you soon."

"Good night, Jasper. Please hug Alice for me." He shot me half a smile and took off at a run.

Edward sighed a little. Then I think he actually sniffed my hair before murmuring, "Thank you, Bella. For everything. I – I love you."

His declaration hurt me, because he told me that vampires find their mates just once, once they were changed. There would be only one love for him if that were true. And that would be me. "I love you, too. And thank you. Thank you for coming and... And everything." I tried to show him by a look that I understood that, but that I loved Embry and would not leave him. And then, I rolled up on my toes to brush the barest of kisses on Edward's cold jaw. "Good night, Edward."

I did not let myself look back as I retrieved Embry's graduation present in its pretty woven bag. I could feel his eyes on me, though, as I slipped through the front door. I imagined he tracked my heartbeat, too, when I climbed the stairs. I was extremely careful – stubbing a toe or falling would and could cause him to dash in and try to rectify the situation and I really, really had to keep him out of the house and away from Charlie.

Besides, Embry had told me once that vampires had a weird, sick-sweet odor that he and his pack brothers recognized immediately. He had smelled it when Victoria attacked. He had smelled it tonight when he sensed Edward and Jasper's presence. I did not want to give him any cause for alarm through Edward's scent in my house. Embry knew I loved him. I knew he trusted me.

But why make things more difficult between natural enemies?

I had the feeling that Edward was still out there as I reached my bedroom. My window had always been open to him, and for months after he left, I didn't lock it, hoping every night that he would come over the sill as he used to do. I wanted to look out at him, wave to him, bid him another goodnight...

But I didn't. A part of me might always love him. Jasper probably picked up on that, that evening. But that wasn't the part I wanted, now. I was human now and I had an investment in remaining that way. Not only for Embry's sanity – not anymore, though that was how this whole thing seemed to have been started. I wanted to stay human, warm, alive...for me. So many beautiful things came through change. I wanted them.

I turned my back on the window and moved to the bathroom to change even after I had turned on my bedside light. Then, when I had showered and brushed my teeth and changed into a pair of satiny sleep shorts and a matching tank top, I went back to my bedroom, picked up my phone and hit number one on my speed dial.

"Isabella." My name sighed from his lips to my ear and I melted against my bedroom pillows. Then, his tone changed. "Did your _guests_ leave?"

"Yep. I told you it'd be okay, Em." I fluffed out my still-wet hair picked up the scroll I had dropped on my bed. "I am so loving my present. It's just wonderful."

"I know it isn't much, Bella –"

"Hush. I love it. It's perfect. You know me."

There was a pause and I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again. "I do know you. I – I love you, you know."

My heart stuttered in my chest and I pressed my hand against it. "I know. So... You know, it can be kind of a traumatic experience to have two vampires show up unexpectedly in your front yard..." I said with an experimental flirtatious curl to my voice.

He chuckled. "I noticed how traumatized you were, yeah. Bawling all over the bike, begging me to stay and protect you..."

Even though his tone was light, I sensed he was a little put out by my earlier wish to be alone with Edward and Jasper. I bit my lip and frowned a little. "Well, that was then, but now, see, I'm all alone here, and you never know how scary my dreams might be tonight..." I said, trying again.

"Give me an hour and I'll be there, sweetheart."

I waited in my dark window until I saw a hint of gray fur moving along the treeline. I waved and darted from my window, out the door and down the stairs. I caught my elbow, my "funny bone," on the newel of the banister, but ignored the shooting pain in my wish to reach the porch before Embry did.

I only barely made it.

Still in just my sleep shorts and tank, I leapt unerringly into his embrace and let his skin take care of any evening chill that lingered.

He laughed at my throat. "What's all this?" he breathed.

"I had to tell you something very important." Sliding down his body, I held his hands in mine and focused on his beautiful eyes.

His smile lingered on his lips. "And the phone just wasn't enough for you?"

"Nope. I love you, Embry Call. I didn't want to tell you for the first time over the phone. I wanted it to be in person and we got interrupted earlier and –"

His face – I'll never forget the expression on his face. He seemed to incandesce right in front of me. "Isabella..." In another moment, he pulled me tightly against him, murmuring my name on disbelieving breaths that alternated with kisses to the top of my head. I sighed, utterly content.

No more wrenching pain in my chest. No more nightmares, not really. No more fears of being left behind. No more waiting for someone who might never come...

I was deeply loved. I was happy. I was human.

At last, I was whole.


End file.
